GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF FULL
GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF TV

And not because they're cutting in our action we do it because they're brown. And that was only because they were tryin' to cut in on our action. Well, who were the last white people you can remember that we bombed? In fact, can you remember any white people we ever bombed? The Germans! That's it. You got some brown people in your country? Tell 'em to watch the fuck out, or we'll goddamn bomb them! But it's also our new job in the world: bombing brown people. Oh, we like that, don't we? That's our hobby now.

GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF FULL

We can bomb the shit outta your country.Д®specially if your country is full of brown people. But we can bomb the shit outta your country, all right.

GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF TV

Can't make a TV set, a cell phone, or a VCR. And it's just as well we are, because we're not very good at anything else. We average a major war every twenty years, So we're good at it. This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had ten major wars. You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. We enjoy war.ДЄnd one reason we enjoy it is that we're good at it. We couldn't wait for the Cold War to end so we could climb into the big Arab sandbox and play with our nice new toys. We can't stand not to be fucking with someone. And that makes sense, because we like war. And even though the TV show consisted largely of Pentagon war criminals displaying maps and charts, it got very good ratings. No god.Let me tell you what I liked about that Gulf War: it was the first war that appeared on every television channel, including cable.

That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. and all the king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. Although it does have that one x-rated part where the Big-Bad-Wolf actually eats the grandmother. And for those of you that look to the Bible for it's literary qualities and moral lessons I got a couple other stories I might like to recommend for you. So just pick your superstitions, sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself. Same as the voodoo lady who tells your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. Same as the four leaf clover, the horse shoe, the rabbit's foot, and the wishing well. Joe Pesci straightened that cock-sucker out with one visit.В I noticed that of all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers that I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answer at about the same 50 percent rate. For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with. Second he looks like a guy who can get things done. Two reasons first of all, I think he's a good actor. Couldn't you just skip the praying part and get right to his will?В You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. God's will be done.' Fine, but if it is God's will and he's going to do whatever he wants to anyway why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me. What's the use of being God if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan? And here's something else, another problem you might have suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you want him to do? Change his plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a divine plan. Well, suppose the thing you want isn't in God's divine plan. Now you come along and pray for something. And for billion and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine. But.what about the divine plan? Remember that? The divine plan. And I say fine, pray for anything you want. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday. 'Do this' 'Gimme that' 'I want a new car' 'I want a better job'. Trillions and trillions of prayers every day asking and begging and pleading for favors.

George carlin youtube about stuff